Tuesday, December 31, 2002

While I'm in this state of intense navel-contemplation, the uppermost of many thoughts: should I strive for the bleeding edge of intellectual thought? There's a strong temptation to go for the LiveJournal route and glibly immortalise in digital form such horrendous personal ephemera as "I got drunk" or "I should go to the gym" or "Popstars really sucks". While that's all incontrovertably true, I can't help but feel I could be reaching higher - I mean, there's so many desperately intellectual types out there and they're quite often really captivating and insightful, as well as being utterly and completely misguided and wrong.

The problem is... well, it takes a lot to lay yourself bare on the Internet. I can hardly express problems about self-expression without truly expressing myself, and that seems dangerously, well, expressive. People might be looking. Hideous facts may be revealed. There may be gossip. Can I take myself seriously enough? And can I stop asking so many damn fatuous questions to a silent audience... it's like some sort of teenage stereotype. Not that I ever did anything like this as a teenager - of course! I'm a late developer. Suddenly it all falls into place. I'm just nipping out for a couple litres of dreadful sparkling cider and an intense period of analysis and self-loathing. See, I'm expressing myself already. And without question marks, thank carefully-unspecified god(tm)

No comments: